Thursday, September 29, 2016

I'm Just, Like, Realizing Stuff...


A lot has changed for me in the past few months. I graduated college, moved back home, then moved to Detroit with my boyfriend and started two new jobs. After a whirlwind of activity, things have finally slowed down and I have settled into a routine. There is something comforting about a routine and about a new city starting to feel like home; however, I tend to get restless easily and am constantly need of a change of pace. I am starting to feel a need to be stimulated by something new, as well as a nostalgia for other, more exciting, times in my life. 
As Kylie Jenner predicted, 2016 is the year of realizing stuff, and I have realized that this restlessness is probably part of the reason that I dealt with depression throughout my college career. I have also realized that this is due to anxiety and stress making it hard for me to appreciate where I am and what I am doing each moment. When I am in a loop of anxiety and stress, I get into a rut, and crave either an exciting change, or a past time when I remember being happy. 
Cue realization #3, which is that I need to focus more on being mindful in order to combat these feelings of restlessness, nostalgia, anxiety and depression. Though it is not the new year yet, I am making a resolution to try to be more mindful each day in order to appreciate where I am and what I am doing, rather than wishing to be somewhere else. 
Y'all probably didn't need to know that much about my mental state, but Kylie made me do it. 

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Please Hold



T-shirt: Brandy Melville
Shorts & choker: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: American Apparel
Purse: Stradivarius


I can't believe that the summer flew by so quickly. It feels like it was all a dream. In the spirit of nostalgia, here is my last outfit post from the city and some photos taken from the One Wold Trade Observatory. 

Sunday, August 9, 2015

NYC Photo Diary Pt. 3 & Thoughts On Leaving







I can't tell if I am sad or content with the idea of leaving New York next week. It has been an incredibly crazy eight months. I have not been home for more than 4 days at a time in 2015. I started the year off with a business accelerator at Oberlin to revamp Oberlin Apparel Collective over Winter Term. From there, I headed straight to Cordoba, Spain where I spent the next four months immersed in Spanish culture and language. I then spent four days at home in Cincinnati before moving to New York where I have been living and interning at CollegeFashionista and Moroccanoil for the past two-and-a-half months. 
The first half of 2015 has taken me to amazing places and I've gotten to do some pretty incredible things. I am so unspeakably grateful for these opportunities and experiences; however, they have all been very short-lived and I am looking forward to being in the same geographical place for the next eight months until I graduate. There has been very little normalcy to my life recently and everything has felt so temporary. It has all been without commitment, and friends and places have faded out of my daily life as quickly as they entered. I have had the time of my life this year and though I am looking forward to a little more stability for my senior year, I am sure I will be itching for a new adventure and a new challenge very soon. 

Sunday, July 19, 2015

NYC Photo Diary Pt. 2 & Things I Have Learned
















I had to go home for a few days a couple of weeks ago and my dad asked me if I think I want to live in New York. Here's the thing, I've been here for a month-and-a-half and I still don't know. Living here is like nothing I have ever experienced. At times the city is incredibly overwhelming and, at other times, exhilarating. Overall, I am really enjoying living here, but there are good days and bad days. There are some things that I would do differently if I decided to live here in the future, and definitely a lot of things I have learned in the past several weeks. So, here they are: 
Things I Have Learned From Living In New York 

1. I like anonymity.
I went to a VERY small high school (there were 60 people in my graduating class), I go to a small college, and when I studied abroad I went with a program of only 30 students. I am used to being a part of small communities (even Cincinnati can feel too small at times). I am glad that I chose a small college because I never feel like I get lost in a crowd, but though that sense of intimacy can be comforting, it can sometimes feel stifling. People have their perceptions of you, and you get put into a box based on their judgements. Though their idea of you may not be accurate and though you may grow and change, it can be hard to break free of those initial perceptions and everyone always knows your business. Sometimes it feels like you are unwilling to contradict yourself or try something new because it goes against what the community expects from you and, therefore, you put yourself into a box. Here, that is never a problem. Almost no one knows who I am apart from people at work and my small network of friends. It is so freeing to be whoever I want to be on a day-to-day basis. I do not feel the obligation to be the same person from one second to the next and this is something I want to carry on with me even after I leave this place.

2. I also don't like anonymity. 
Being anonymous is a double-edged sword. In Ohio, and in my small communities, I am pretty used to people trusting me. Here, however, that has not been the case. It has been very eye-opening to see what a lack of the small-town trusting nature is like.

3. It's a hard city to live alone in.
I've heard that New York is the loneliest city in the world. I can definitely believe that. I am around people all day long, but am I really interacting with them? Some days I wake up and go to work only to come home and be too exhausted to do anything else. My friends live only a train ride away but some days that might as well be a plane ride. Thankfully, I am someone who likes to be alone. I spend a lot of time exploring the city and doing things by myself. For the most part, I am content with that, but some days when I feel particularly lonely, my friend who lives across town feels like she is a million miles away. I am glad I live alone for numerous reasons, especially after living with a family of five for the past semester, but if I do move back, I would opt to have a roommate. Not only would I not be able to live here without splitting the cost of rent with someone, but it would also make the city a lot less lonely place to live.

4. I am a dime piece. 
A homeless man told me this.

5. ISIS is going to get me. 
A homeless man also told me this.

6. I like and need nature. 
Over spring break this past semester, I spent 6 days in Venice and then 6 in Crete, Greece. I had been expecting to like Venice better because of the beautiful and unique scenery of the city. However, after spending 6 days in Italy, when I arrived in Crete, it felt like the whole world had opened up. There were mountains and trees and beaches and fields. It was like a breath of fresh air. The same thing happened when I spent a weekend in Maine last month. Though I love the bustling atmosphere and striking lights of the city, being around nature was so calming and rejuvenating. Since then, I have made it a point to go to the park or jog along the river a few times a week. There is nature to be found in New York, you just have to work for it.

7. Overpopulation is a problem. 
We have too many people on this planet and they are all somehow in one city. The 5 train should not be that crowded in the morning. Stop having children now.

8. I can do it. 
I can move to a new city on my own, I can live by myself, I can get up and go to work every day like a grown-up and I can make it home on a train alone at 2:00 in the morning. I am stronger and more independent than I thought I was, and that's a really great feeling.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Copycat


Jacket: H&M
Skirt: Free People
Shoes: Converse
I was sitting in the park with @Ben Shepherd last week and a girl walked by. She was wearing a denim button-down, a black jersey midi-skirt and white converse high tops. I pointed out that I liked her outfit. Ben laughed at me and told me it was exactly something I would wear. So, to prove him right, I wore that exact outfit to work a couple days ago. I don't own a denim button-down so I substituted a denim jacket, but I assure you it is high up on my shopping list. 
NYC photo diary #2 coming soon! 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

NYC Photo Diary pt. 1





Spent the first few days getting lost on the subway and wondering if I belonged in California instead, but now, I'm in love. Much much more soon! xo

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Fantasy World




Dress: Zara
Shoes: Steve Madden
Jewels: Urban Outfitters and Etsy
This is the first time in years that I have actually been able to dress up for an event. The dress code for Oberlin's events is consistently casual. 
I have such a thing for '90s style shift dresses รก la Kate Moss. This slip-dress from Zara is perfectly easy and breezy and makes it feel like you're not even wearing clothes. I need more pieces like this in my wardrobe. I have a fantasy in which I am a rich, fabulous fashion woman who only ever wears flowing, silky, full-length gowns. I feel like I'm half way there in this dress.